Serious Sam now wears a pair of douchebag wraparound shades and occasionally everything has to stop so he can have some embarrassing dialogue with one of his Skype friends that was written with the care of a cat knocking a bowl of jelly beans onto the word processor keyboard. So technically I suppose this would be several thousands years after first encounter, but that's time travel for you, doing to simple, linear storytelling what energetic sex with a contortionist does to a smoothly laid out bedsheet.Īnyway, Serious Sam 3: Bum Fondling Enjoyment doesn't quite make it through the washing line of modern gaming without a few pairs of moist underpants clinging to its face. But longtime viewers will know that the games industry doesn't call back to that sort of thing anywhere near often enough for my tastes.īFE stands for Before First Encounter - not, as I had first believed, Big Fucking Egun - and is a prequel telling the story of Earth's doomed war with the alien armies of Mental and how Sam was first transported back in time to Serious Sam 1.
Serious Sam 3: BFE is a deliberate call back to the retro Doom-style of FPSing that the original Serious Sam (and I suppose Serious Sam 2, but we don't really talk about Serious Sam 2) was also calling back to. Fortunately, in the world of Serious Sam, anyone who is not Serious Sam or one of the entities that talk in his earpiece every now and again has a role in life normally associated with industrially fattened flightless birds during the time between October and January. One person up to their eyeballs in Martian badger guts is a desperate struggle two people up to their eyeballs in Martian badger guts seems more like an allegory for the average first marriage. I guess a certain amount of magic is lost for me if I have to share the genocide with anyone else. Somewhere along the line, that became "large numbers of people who are different to me get killed in single file by a nebulous military force (that may or may not involve a playable character), with various slight variations on the theme of 'bullets' and 'missiles fired from some kind of orbiting armchair.'" "Large numbers of evil monsters get killed en masse by a lone, underdog soldier with a different exotic murder device strapped to each extremity" was the perfectly functional, workaday formula. It really is quite instructive how much people managed to fuck up the simplest formula in gaming over the years. Freedom Too, a remix of the Kukulkan the Wind God boss theme from The Second Encounter, with added dramatic Latin chanting and orchestra, for the final boss fight of the Siberian Mayhem DLC.One of these days I'm going to make of list of everything shooters lost sight of in the first decade of the millennium after they wrapped a big sheet of HD whale blubber around their heads.Hero Too, a remixed version of "Hero" that plays during The War Sequence before the final boss fight of 4, featuring guitar work from Robin Finck.The "Jingle Bells" Remix played during the Christmas event selectable in the options is a Hard Rock track very reminiscent of the one used in The Second Encounter level "Land of the Damned".Vatican Suite starts as a peaceful track which wouldn't feel out of place in Assassin's Creed, then becomes pure fucking badassery with Heavy Metal music mixed with Ominous Latin Chanting and orchestra when the fight starts.It is especially well suited for The Power Of The Underworld, the level it appears in, as monsters usually don't start spawning until the intensity picks up. Temples Fight starts out somewhat foreboding before eventually picking up.War 4 - Gladiator, while you have your rematch with the Warship and bring the giant bastard down for good while simultaneously pummeling the literal hordes teleporting out of its hatches.War 3 - Final Fight, for when you first fight a Khnum, which plays way too shortly considering how quickly you can kill it with either C4 or the Cannon.War 2 - Storm plays during the first Warship battle, in which Sam chases off a warship which is stated to be strong enough to require strategic weapons to take down the hard way.War 1 - Hero, with its vocal version, is used in the suitably epic trailer and when you fight the first horde of Beheaded Kamikazes.
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